Do Unto Others…


Wow! I have not blogged in a very long time: seven months to be exact! I suppose that is what happens when life takes over :). Anyway at this point I don’t even know if this blog will end up related to PKU, so if it turns into a random vent about non related topics I apologize. Please bear with me. I have a lot on my mind that needs to be said regardless of whether or not anyone will actually end up reading it.

Lately it seems like everyone is on some sort of diet. Most people who are on a diet and/or working out are doing so to get themselves to a healthier weight. I have no problem with this. I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to do what they feel is best for their health, and I applaud those who are trying to do right by their bodies. In a world where junk food is sold at literately every store it takes a lot of will power to eat healthy. However, what I find really difficult to accept lately is the overwhelming amount of individuals who are on weight loss diets and/or working out and think it is okay to disrespect me, because I don’t understand what it’s like to try to lose weight.

You’re right. I don’t know what it feels like to try to lose weight, and until I am in that position I would never claim that I do. Despite never being in that situation though I always do my absolute best to be positive and encouraging to friends who are trying to reach a healthier weight. They probably already beat themselves up enough over junk food they said they wouldn’t eat but did anyway, the trip to the gym that they never took, or the fact that they are not losing weight as quickly as they hoped. They don’t need me adding to their stress. I would never in a million years think to tell another individual, “You should eat a salad,” or “You need to go to the gym.” That would be rude and absurd. I am sure everyone would agree, that isn’t something you say to another human being…it’s just not. So riddle me this then: why is it okay for to degrade thin people with rude comments about their body size?

Recently while talking with a group of friends the topic of healthy eating was brought up. One of my friends commented that she stopped eating out. She figured she would accomplish her weight loss goal quicker by cutting fast food from her diet. As the conversation progressed I commented how I also cut back eating out and that I am down to only allowing myself to do so if I have left over cash from babysitting (an improvement from using my card and eating out several times a week!). I want to pack my meals, because it’s healthier (both in general and in regards to PKU) and it will save me tons of money. She got snappy and told me in a very curt tone, as if my opinion didn’t matter, “Oh whatever! You’re skinny. You can eat out. Go eat a doughnut.” (Disregard the fact that I technically really can’t eat doughnuts…)

I was so offended! If I would have told her “Oh whatever! You’re fat. You can’t eat out. Go eat a salad,” I would be labeled as a horrible person. A comment like that would be 100% unacceptable by any standards…as it should be. Her comment though, was some how okay? Huh? Even if it was her emotions that caused her to say what she did, it’s still not right. Taunting a larger individual about their body is wrong, and belittling someone who is smaller is as well. If it’s not your body, then you have no right to criticize it. Period.

I just can’t comprehend our societies sense of ‘one way is right, the other is wrong, and the one that is wrong needs to be squashed.’ Take a look at the media, and you will see thousands of examples of this! It’s in Dove’s advertisement for Dove Firming where they clearly state that it is ‘tested on real curves’ (implying that there is something fake about a body my size…?). They did the same thing in response to the ‘Love My Body’ campaign and called it the ‘Real Beauty’ campaign. While I get what Dove was trying to do and fully understand that Victoria Secrets models are highly edited (so perhaps that is what Dove meant by ‘real’), it still supports the idea that only one option can be right and we need to put down the ‘wrong’ option.

Anyway, I digress! The point is, I am really disgusted and offended by this obvious double standard. What’s really grated on my nerves is the fact that these friends who have been on a diet for weeks or maybe months can be so rude when my only intention was to be encouraging. Perhaps they forgot that I have been on a diet for almost twenty-four years now! Granted it is a diet of the medically necessary variety, so it is certainly not by my choice. However, assuming I don’t know what it’s like to want to eat something that I can’t or to eat something and then feel bad about it later is silly. I’ve been there, done that. Are my circumstances slightly different? Yes. Absolutely! However, I know a little more about restricting food than most people realize AND when I decide I’m done monitoring what I eat I don’t get the luxury of dropping my diet. I either maintain this diet, or I risk detrimental effects to my health…

PS In the end this blog was aimed more towards my strong dislike for rude people than anything else, so I apologize to anyone looking for a ‘PKU related’ topic. I promise my next blog will be ‘PKU related.’ I also want to point out that I have NOTHING against individuals of any certain body type. In my opinion health is more important than looks. I am tired of people who feel it is okay to treat others one way only to expect to be treated a different way though. Whatever happened to ‘do unto others as you’d have them do unto you’? This goes for far more than just people discussing healthy eating. For example, I’ve had parents at work lose their marbles and yell at me for the smallest reasons while still expecting me to be completely polite. If you want me to be polite to you, then you need to be polite to me. If you don’t want me laughing at your meal choices or body type, then respect my body to. I deserve to be respected! The whole ‘go eat a doughnut’ dilemma was the current example of rude people that has been bugging me, so that is the rant you got to hear today. Sorry lol!


About Breamarie91

I am a twenty-three year old adult with PKU. I was diagnosed at nine days of age and have been treated every since. I also have two younger sisters who have PKU. In addition to studying early childhood/elementary education with a minor in creative arts, I also dance on my colleges dance team, work in a child care center and as a youth dance instructor, and function as the organization director of the PKU Organization of Wisconsin, Inc. I am also in the process of opening my own business (a dance

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